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Jack Morin - Anal Pleasure and Health
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| silvye | Date: Friday, 2012-11-16, 17:14:06 | Message # 1 |
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| Jack Morin - Anal Pleasure and Health
ANAL AWARENESS & RELAXATION WORKSHOPS
BEFORE LONG, I had so many clients wanting to undertake these explorations, that I developed an 8-week, small-group format called "Anal Awareness and Relaxation Workshops." They were quite a hit, and I learned so, so much. This initial work spurred me on to intensive doctoral research and eventually to writing the first edition of this book in 1981. Which brings me back to hemorrhoids. As I tried the same experiments on myself that my clients were practicing at home-which seemed only fair-I was amazed to discover how much sensation I hadn't been feeling. I was hurting even more than I had realized! But gradually, instead of tensing up in response to the pain, I learned to relax into it. Before long, the rush cushion that had been my constant companion was gathering dust in a closet. In fact, within a few months of my first experiment, the hemorrhoids had cleared up completely-and they've rarely been back, except when I'm especially stressed.
At such times, I can feel the tightening of my anal muscles, and I know it's time to get back in touch. Meanwhile, my clients were amazed at their own results. The more attention they paid to the anal area, the more they noticed a growing comfort with it and, simultaneously, unmistakable increases in their enjoyment of whatever types of anal stimulation they desired. A deceptively simple combination of relaxation and self-awareness appeared to be as effective at promoting their pleasure as it was for relieving my pain. I now see those horrid hemorrhoids as a strange sort of gift. My clients' discoveries about anal pleasure, combined with my own quest for self-healing, drove home the single most
important lesson I've learned during my 35-year stint as Dr. Anal: The widespread belief that one must choose between anal pleasure OR anal health is terribly off the mark. In reality, a person who desires maximum anal enjoyment should follow virtually the same steps as anyone who seeks optimal anal wellness. Both require:
• deepening awareness of the anal area and its functioning
• total elimination of anal pain
• reduction of muscular tension
• replacing negative feelings and attitudes toward the anus and rectum with positive ones
Guiding you toward these objectives is what this book is all about. You can use most of its information and exercises effectively, whether your specific goal is nonsexual self-healing, an expansion of your capacity for anal sensuality and eroticism, or a combination of the two. Chapters 1-7 are equally relevant for everyone. Starting with Chapter 8 you'll notice an increasing emphasis on pleasure and sexuality. But note that only Chapter 12 is exclusively concerned with anal intercourse. Men and women of all sexual orientations can benefit from reading all other chapters, even if they have little or no interest in intercourse.
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| deea | Date: Saturday, 2012-12-15, 00:59:11 | Message # 2 |
 Lector
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| 1. What is Anal Pleasure ?
The more I learn about the anal area, the more obvious it becomes that is evolved to bring us pleasure. Not only is it endowed with a rich supply of blood vessels and nerves, the anus and rectum are also embedded in a complex system of sensitive muscles that are intricately linked to the genitals. Many are surprised to learn that the anal area is thoroughhly involved in the dramatic pelvic changes of sexual arousal. When we're turned on, blood rushes to the entire pelvic area, not just the genitals. When our pelvic muscles begin twitching with pleasure as erotic energy escalates, the anus is also twitching. And if we get excited enough to set off the rhytmic contractions of orgasm, the anus is contracting too - completley in sync.
Needless to say, the primary function of the anus and rectum is to complete the essential process of elimination. But why are the muscles and nerves that make the anus and rectum work properly the same ones that can bring us so much pleasure? It's simple, really. Healthy functioning of the digestive system is supposed to feel good. Conversely, when something goes wrong, the anus starts to hurt, signaling that it needs our attention. In light of these fundamental realities, it's sad to see how many people are profoundly alienated from the anal area-perhaps thinking of it, if they do at all, as dark, dirty, or disgusting. As a result, it carries out its essential functions largely outside of conscious awareness except, of course, when pain erupts. For them, if the anus isn't hurting, it's pretty much numb.
It's different when we're infants and small children; we take delight in all parts of our bodies. But something terribly unfortunate happens to many of us in the course of growing up: We learn to mistrust or ignore our physical selves, perhaps viewing the mind or spirit as more important than and separate from our bodies. We're taught to view sensual play and self-exploration as immature and self-indulgent if not kept within strict limits. This process of bodily self-alienation is especially pronounced in the anal area, commonly seen as the ultimate symbol of all that is unclean and revolting. Imagine how confusing it is to discover that a part of the body that is supposed to be so unsavory is also extremely sensitive and potentially among the most enjoyable. Especially for children, the gradual realization that the anus is considered bad and repulsive must be quite disconcerting, because it contradicts their direct, pleasurable experience. And thus an unspoken conflict is born-a conflict that can easily endre for a lifetime. People cope with this contradiction in a variety of ways. Some make only the necessary concessions to meet social standards of appropriateness, and then go right on enjoying their anal sensations. Such people can use the information and suggestions in this book to reinforce and enhance their capacity for pleasure. Their natural curiosity will make further selfexploration a rewarding journey.
Others have partially or fully absorbed the prevailing cultural attitudes, and are emotionally and sensually cut off from their anuses to one degree or another. Many of these men and women actually prefer not to become more familiar with this body zone, and see no point in doing so. Although they may be naturally inclined to ignore this book, such people can benefit tremendously from confronting and gradually undoing the damaging effects of their early training. I've had the privilege of working with many clients like this, and the positive changes can be astonishing for those willing to venture in. Another group of men and women are actively seeking to overcome a long history of avoidance and negativity. They're discovering-or at least considering the possibility-that they've been missing something good which can only be found beyond the extremes of pain and numbness: pleasure. This book may be exactly what they're looking for. It's a practical guide, grounded in research and decades of experience with those who have sought to rediscover the anal area as an integral aspect of themselves, a place to be respected and intimately known.
Yet another group of people have much to gain from reading on, though they're probably not be focused on pleasure right now. These are the millions who live with annoying, painful, sometimes chronic, or even debilitating anal medical problems. Diseases like hemorrhoids, fissures (tears or scrapes), and constipation are among the most common medical problems in our society. Those who suffer from these and other conditions will find here the essential information and tools that can help bring relief. Once freed from anal distress, former sufferers are often delighted to discover that the same nerves that once registered so much pain are equally available for enjoyment. Quite understandably, this can be a life-changing revelation. Anal pleasure means different things to different people. Most of the time it's a private experience. Who hasn't felt pleasure during an especially relieving bowel movement, or noticed anal sensations in the course of walking, dancing, or other physical activities? There are host of unplanned opportunities for tuning in to simple anal pleasures in the course of daily life, such as wiping after a bowel movement, relaxing during a bath or shower, or simply washing oneself.
Anal sensations can have unexpected erotic dimension when, for example, you notice tingling there while turned on, or fully appreciate the total involvement of your anus in orgasm. I've heard numerous stories of those who accidently discovered erotic anal touch while masturbating and found themselves returning to it. Anal self-pleasuring can also become internal when a finger, vibrator or anal toy is inserted into the anus and rectum. Many are introduced to new erotic sensations when a partner casually strokes their anal area during sex. Not surprisingly, some go on to request more touch like this-just on the outside, or maybe inside too. This kind of partner touch can be particularly compelling in conjunction with genital caresses or oral attention. Some couples employ a "butt plug" or similar device for deeper internal stimulation than a finger can provide. As with all of the scenarios I'm describing, no one knows how many enjoy, as giver and/or receiver, kissing or licking of the anus (popularly known as "rimming"). Some partners are enticed (or nagged) into receiving anal intercourse, which they may or may not like at first-or ever. Unfortunately, many anal intercourse attempts turn out badly, even when they're genuinely desired. Far too many couples jump right into it without any preparation whatsoever. As you'll discover in this book, the best way to ensure enjoyable anal intercourse is not to start there, but rather to learn about your own anus and rectum first. Once you know how to release tension and fear, you might ask your partner for gentle anal stroking and massage, just for the pleasure of it, or to help you prepare for an optimal intercourse experience.
Anal-rectal stimulation with a penis is known by many names, including anal coitus, sodomy, buggery, butt fucking, or ass fucking, to name just a few. In this book I call it anal intercourse. I use the much broader term anal sex to refer to any erotic anal play, not necessarily intercourse. To me, anal sensuality refers to any pleasurable enjoyment of the area, with or without erotic overtones. Certainly this book will be of interest to those who want to explore anal intercourse, or who already have but wish they could enjoy it more. Many others, because of their sexual orientation or personal preferences, will have little or no such interest. This book is very much for these people, too, because anal pleasure-and the relaxation and awareness that promotes it-is actually a smorgasbord of experiences that anyone can sample whenever they wish, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.
PREVALENCE IN THE UNITED STATES
WE KNOW RELATIVELY LITTLE about how many Americans experiment with anal sexuality, what kinds of stimulation they use, or how often they do it. The available information focuses almost exclusively on anal intercourse. This a huge limitation, but hardly surprising, considering the culture-wide tendency to view intercourse as the only "real" sex and to label everything else "foreplay." In his pioneering studies of sexual behavior among men and women, Alfred Kinsey recognized the erotic potential of the anal area based on its high concentration of nerve endings, proximity to the genitals, and interconnection with other pelvic muscles. He noted, for example, that spontaneous anal contractions typically occur during arousal and orgasm. Of the men in his sample who had experienced homosexual sex play as preadolescents (which, incidentally, was reported more commonly than heterosexual play), 17% recalled trying anal intercourse (Kinsey et al, 1948; 1953). Kinsey also noted that anal erotic activity was reported by some adults of all sexual orientations as part of masturbation and partner sex. He even realized that some people could be brought to orgasm by anal stimulation alone. Kinsey estimated that the anus had erotic significance for about half of the population, although no specific sexual activities involving the anus were included in his original statistics. However, more recently published data shows that the Kinsey group had gathered more information about anal sex than they originally reported, revealing an uncharacteristic reticence on Kinsey's part. Among married interviewees, 11 % of both men and women had engaged in anal intercourse at least once. Nine percent of unmarried men and 28% of unmarried women had also tried it (Gebhard and Johnson, 1979).
In the early 1970s, a survey of over 2000 American men and women conducted by Morton Hunt suggested that a significant relaxation in attitudes toward anal sexuality was under way. Over half of those surveyed disagreed with the statement: "Anal intercourse between men and women is wrong." Experimentation also appeared to be on the rise, especially among younger respondents. About a quarter of married couples under 35 had engaged in anal intercourse at least occasionally, while over half had tried anal fingering, and over a quarter had tried oral-anal stimulation (Hunt, 1974). Also in the seventies, a Redbook magazine survey of 100,000 women reported that 43% of the women, most of them married, had tried anal intercourse at least once. Of these, about 40% described the experience as enjoyable, 42% found it unpleasant, and 7.5% found it repulsive. Nineteen percent said they engaged in anal intercourse occasionally, and 2% did so often (Tavris and Sadd, 1977).
In the early 1980s, a Playboy survey of 100,000 readers indicated that the level of experimentation was even higher among their audience. Forty-seven percent of men and 61 of women had tried anal intercourse. Thirteen percent of married couples reported engaging in anal intercourse more than once a month and 63% had also tried other forms of anal stimulation (Peterson, 1983).
In the '90s, a study of 3,432 Americans showed that the proportion of respondents who had tried anal intercourse-as receivers or inserters-was strongly related to whether they'd had any same-gender sex partners and how recently they'd had them. Whereas about a quarter of the total sample had tried anal intercourse at least once since puberty, about half of those with any same-sex partners since age 18 had tried it. Among men and women who reported any same-sex partners in the previous five years, 60% had tried it. And for those with same-sex partners in the previous year, the proportion who had tried anal intercourse jumped to nearly 80% (Laumann, et al, 1994).
In 2002, the National Center for Health Statistics, part of the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), conducted face-to-face interviews with 12,571 men and women between ages 15-44. Respondents entered answers anonymously into a computer during the interviews, a very good method for getting closer to the truth. Forty percent of the men and 35% of women said they had tried anal sex (presumably meaning intercourse) with an opposite-sex partner at least once (Moser, et al, 2005).
In 2008, the Guttmacher Institute sought to determine the extent to which today's teens are using oral and anal sex as substitutes for vaginal intercourse. They analyzed data on 2,271 teens, ages 15-19, drawn from the 2002 National Survey of Family Growth. In this nationally representative survey, respondents answered questions anonymously via computer. Among these teens, 50% had engaged in vaginal intercourse, 55% had tried oral sex, and 11% had explored anal intercourse. In a similar trend noted by Kinsey among adults back in the 40s and 50s, teens from higher socioeconomic backgrounds were more likely to have tried oral and anal sex. Among the teens who had already had vaginal intercourse, 87% had also tried oral sex and 21% had engaged in anal sex (compared to 26% and 1% of the "virgins," respectively). The study concluded that teens aren't using oral and anal sex as substitutes for vaginal intercourse, but rather as supplements to it (Lindberg, 2008).
Many people are surprised when they hear about the prevalence of anal experimentation among heterosexuals; some even refuse to believe it. At the same time, it is widely assumed that anal intercourse is universal among gay men. This belief is a natural extension of an intercourse-centered view of sex, which goes like this: because intercourse is sex, and because the only intercourse available to gay men is anal, therefore anal intercourse must be the erotic focus for gays, just as vaginal intercourse is for most straights. Following a similar logic, I've heard numerous people question how lesbians can have sex at all.
It's true that gay men in general are far more open to all forms of anal stimulation, including intercourse, than any other group. In one study of over 1,000 gay men, 76% said they enjoyed anal intercourse, over half as both inserter and receiver (Spada, 1979). In another study of 156 gay male couples together from 1-40 years, 71% had participated in anal intercourse within the year prior to the interviews, with equal percentages having tried it as receivers and as inserters. Also in the previous year, 41% had participated in oral-anal play. But compare these statistics to the more than 95% who reported giving and receiving oral sex during the same period, with mutual masturbation almost as prevalent (McWhirter and Mattison, 1984). Although anal sex is clearly popular among gay men, the more prominent role of other activities in gay male sexuality has often been noted. A 1994 sex survey of gay men conducted by ZheAdvocate (Lever, 1994), a national gay magazine, asked refreshingly different questions, including what sexual activities respondents "loved." Hugging and caressing were loved by 85%, more than any other activity. Forty percent loved being the inserter in anal intercourse (almost as popular as having their ears licked) and 43% were fans of receiving it. Forty-five percent loved receiving oral-anal stimulation, and 28% loved giving.
Twenty-six percent said their favorite way to have an orgasm was through a combination of masturbation (administered by themselves or their partners) and receiving intercourse, while 19% said their favorite way to orgasm was being the inserter. On the other hand, 14% didn't practice receptive anal intercourse at all and another 13% did, but didn't like it. Six percent didn't engage in intercourse as inserters while another 11% did so but didn't like it. We know amazingly little about the frequency with which some groups, most notably lesbians, engage in anal activities. Frankly, I'm amazed that I can't find any surveys of lesbian sexuality that asked questions about anal stimulation. Nonetheless I've talked with dozens of lesbians who say they like anal fingering, oral-anal stimulation, and occasionally anal intercourse with dildos. Several lesbian therapists I've interviewed reported the same thing. But this
is all anecdotal, underscoring the need for more complete lesbian sex research.
WHAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE?
If you're like me, random percentages are already swirling around in your brain. So what are we to make of these numbers? Obviously, different studies yield different results. This is true with any kind of research. But between the 1940s and the 2000s, we can spot some general trends:
• The proportion of heterosexuals experimenting with anal intercourse has gradually been on the rise, and probably is around 30-40% today, with younger, more educated, and married people on the higher end of the spectrum.
• How often straights have anal intercourse is much more difficult to say, but the best guess is that approximately 20% practice it at least occasionally, with significant differences between groups.
• The vast majority of men who have sex with men (only some of whom are identified as gay) have tried anal intercourse, but less than half of the gays say they "love it."
• Most surveys don't bother to ask about other forms of anal sex, yet a majority of straights appear to include some anal touching in their sex play on occasion, as do an even larger majority of gays.
• Rimming (oral-anal sex) has been tried by less than a quarter of straights, but almost half of gays say they love receiving it and almost one-third feel the same about giving it.
• We have many anecdotal reports of lesbians enjoying all forms of anal sexuality, but no real data about it.
• The biggest surprise is that about 11% of 15-19 olds are trying anal intercourse these days. That number jumps to 21% among teens who have also had vaginal intercourse.
Considering the fact that more sexual experimentation is happening at earlier ages, the essential need for comprehensive sex education, beginning well before the experiments begin, is the most important "bottom line" of all. It is now undeniable that more informed young people are more likely to wait longer before becoming sexually active, and much more inclined to use birth control when they do. Similarly, disturbing numbers of teens are having intercourse, both vaginal and anal, without using condoms. In 2007, almost 62% of sexually active high school students reported using condoms with their most recent intercourse. This is a dramatic improvement from 1991, when only 46% had used them
(CDC, 2006). But we have a long way to go.
We know that access to condoms and familiarity with them-which includes seeing, touching, and practicing applying them to phallus-shaped objects in the classroom-is the best way to promote their use. It's also essential that teens, especially girls, learn about the "female condom," the use of which can be decided upon, implemented, and controlled by intercourse receivers (see Chapter 12).* Finally, the focus on intercourse that I described earlier is on full display in most of the research. Since the HIV/AIDS epidemic began in the early 1980s, sex research funding has been primarily focused on studies of HIV transmission and prevention. Other forms of anal pleasure are not involved in HIV
transmission, which is one reason why questions about them are still being left out. This is a short-sighted and serious mistake. The more people know about the anal area and all forms of anal enjoyment, the more likely they are to make wise, informed choices instead of fumbling around in the dark. I strongly suggest that future researchers who have the urge and funds to devise new sex surveys, begin by expanding their range of questions about this important source of sensuous and sexual pleasure.
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| lussy | Date: Thursday, 2012-12-27, 19:53:50 | Message # 3 |
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| 2. Confronting the Anal Taboo
While there's no denying that the plesure potentials of the anus are gradually coming out of the closet, most of us still feel somewath unesay about it. I still hear frequent stories of people trying to raise the subject of anal sexuality, even with a close confidant, only to face jokes or derision in response. This isn't to say that the anus can't be a subject for humor; it most certainly can be. But so often it seems that the laughter is of the awkward, let's-not-talk-about-that variety, intended more to squelch discussion than to invite it. The prevailing social consensuous can still be described as, "Don't ask; don't tell."
There's no simple explanation for our lingering reticence. Historically, the law has played an important role. Since the days of the colonies, almost every state has imposed strong legal sanctions against sodomy, usually defined as contact between the genitals of one person and the anus or mouth of another, although sometimes the term is used only for anal intercourse. Starting in the 1960s, and reaching a peak in the 70s, 18 states repealed their sodomy laws, and three additional state courts declared them unconstitutional. A monumental sea change occurred in June, 2003, when the US Supreme Court ruled that all sodomy laws are unconstitutional. Matters of love and sexuality among consenting adults, declared the 6-3 majority, are fundamentally a private matter (Lawrence vs. Texas).
Ethical values and moral principles are also potent attitude-shapers. Even people who value sexual freedom still look to some moral code or ethical system to guide their actions. The current trend, countered by plenty of vociferous opposition, is towards allowing greater room for individual tastes and preferences. Needless to say, it is legitimate for anyone to participate in or avoid certain sexual behaviors or situations based on a sense of right or wrong. However, ethical or moral value systems do not themselves deter open discussion, turn faces red with embarrassment, or cause reflexive outbursts of nervous laughter.
To understand these reactions, we must open our eyes to the power of taboos. A taboo is a form of psycho-social control more potent than the most rigid moral code or threatening law. Modern, enlightened people like to believe that the scientific method has eradicated taboos, and that only "primitive" peoples are still affected by them. Unfortunately, this belief is inaccurate.
Science has certainly been instrumental in freeing us from many irrational superstitions and fears. But every culture, no matter how advanced, still has its taboos. A taboo is a prohibition collectively shared by a society with a force so strong that it is rarely, if ever, questioned or even discussed. It just is. Every society also has mores and traditions intended to guide or control behavior. These evolve out of the give-and-take of socio-political discussions and battles. Taboos are quite different. Sigmund Freud made this key distinction:
The taboo restrictions are different from religious or moral prohibitions; they are differentiated from moral prohibitions by failing to be included in a system which declares abstinence in general to be necessary and gives reasons for this necessity. The taboo prohibitions lack all justification and are of unknown origin. They are taken as a matter of course by those under their dominance (Freud, 1913).
Taboos, then, have an all-encompassing quality-like the air we breathewhich makes them highly resistant to logic, scientific inquiry or even first-hand experience. Although taboos are products of culture, it's almost as if they are operate apart from it, invisibly.
Some taboos are almost universally accepted in cultures that embrace them, with little or no ambivalence or emotional charge. In the US, for example, the taboo against eating the meat of dogs or cats is of this type. We're socialized to feel that this would be incredibly distasteful and the issue never arises again. If, however, we were to find ourselves in a situation where no other food was available except a dog or cat, we would be thrown into deep ambivalence. Some of us would probably come close to starvation before violating the taboo.
Other taboos are accompanied by strong ambivalence and a high emotional charge. The incest taboo is the best example of this type. Because many people experience at least mild erotic responses toward a parent or sibling, the taboo against acting upon or even acknowledging these desires infuses them with great psychological meaning.
Both types of taboos have a chilling effect on behavior and thought. However, taboos of the second type don't necessarily eliminate the impulses they seek to forbid. Instead, taboo desires go underground, both individually and collectively, where they take on a larger-than-life, almost cosmic significance. In this way, taboos can imbue forbidden impulses or curiosities with over-inflated significance. In some instances, the ambivalence, guilt, and shame caused by a taboo actually function as aphrodisiacs.* Freud pointed out that in Polynesian, the root meaning of taboo is both sacred and forbidden or unclean. The opposite of taboo is simply ordinary, commonplace, or readily accessible.
All of this goes a long way toward explaining the profoundly mixed feelings of so many of us toward the anal area and anal pleasure. There's no other way to understand the frequent responses of rational men and women, even scientists, when asked straightforward questions about the anus and anal pleasure, especially anal sex. More often than not they are unwilling to discuss the subject, or else begin to stammer or show other signs of embarrassment. Often the effects of the anal taboo are couched in rational-sounding generalities like, "Anal intercourse is dangerous," which fail to meet even minimal standards of logic or science. If anal pleasure and eroticism were simply a bad idea, objections-moral, legal, or physiological-could be freely discussed without self-consciousness. In actuality, most people can more readily talk about murder and rape-staples of the local news-than anal sexuality.
Like the incest taboo, the anal taboo tends to be highly charged, though usually not as strongly. This is true because the sensitivity of the anal area assures that, beginning early in life, virtually everyone will feel pleasurable sensations there. To some degree, then, negative messages about the anus are bound to contradict actual experience, creating ambivalence. For some, the discomfort of mixed feelings can be managed by suppressing all thoughts and feelings related to anal pleasure-a common tactic. Others are clearly interested and repulsed, fascinated and ashamed. Charged by the extra excitement of the forbidden, some people become anally obsessed. This can be a problem for those who feel that the more naughty a sexual behavior or fantasy is, the more important it becomes, almost as a matter of principle, to do it. Such men and women may engage in anal sex as a symbol of sexual freedom, whether they actually like it or not. And some may do it with a reckless abandon characteristic of those who aren't exactly choosing their actions.
When under the influence of an unspoken taboo, caught in the crossfire of conflicting forces, it becomes difficult to recognize the forbidden object or behavior for what it actually is. Instead, the artificial intensity stirred up by the taboo becomes the our focus. The realities that lie behind the taboo can easily be ignored in the struggle.
SOCIAL FUNCTIONS OF THE ANAL TABOO
TABOOS AREN'T just psychological phenomena; they have social significance as well. The incest taboo, for example, helps to reduce severe conflict among family members and between generations. The taboo against eating dogs and cats maintains the special feelings we wish to have about our pets. The functions of a taboo are not always clearly discernible because they become blurred as the taboo is passed on from generation to generation. Since taboos are intricately woven into the collective psyche, their original purpose often fades into obscurity.
Although the anal taboo has never been systematically studied by social scientists, we can speculate about its social functions. Cross-cultural data about sexual mores and behavior strongly point to four likely functions. First, negative attitudes toward the anal area appear to be universally tied to concerns about cleanliness. All societies encourage cleanliness, though ideas vary widely about what is required. The idea that cleanliness is necessary for spiritual purity is quite common. Often, specific substances like certain foods, mud, urine, mucus and feces trigger strong feelings of revulsion, thereby symbolizing and enforcing much broader concern about avoiding contamination and disease. In short, the anal taboo fosters the emotion of disgust. Second, the idea that an inherent conflict exists between the spirit and the flesh is prevalent. By intensifying negative emotions about one area of the body, the anal taboo expresses and perpetuates an overall lack of ease with the physical self. In this way, the taboo makes concrete the conflict between spirit and body, increases guilt, and thereby reinforces religious doctrine.
Third, almost all cultures associate receiving anal intercourse with femininity, in part because of its physiological similarity to vaginal intercourse. With few exceptions, a man who receives anal intercourse is viewed as less manly. Therefore, another possible function of the anal taboo is the maintenance of strict sex-role differentiation. Sexual receptivity-and all that it symbolizes-is expected of women and strongly discouraged in men. If anal pleasure is prohibited, then the chance of men receiving anal intercourse decreases considerably.
Finally, acceptance of anal sexual behavior is virtually always correlated with acceptance of at least some forms of homosexuality. It's therefore reasonable to conclude that another function of the anal taboo is to bolster sanctions against homosexual contact, particularly between men. This period in human history is ripe for challenging the anal taboo. Scientific advances in the study of health and disease make it more possible for decisions about cleanliness and health to be rational rather than emotional, although emotions still do and always will play a part. The mind-body split is being directly challenged in philosophy, psychology and medicine. Similarly, the value of strict sex-role differentiation is being questioned by thoughtful women and men. At the same time, negative attitudes toward homosexuality are softening, at least in the developed world. For all these reasons, the functions once served by the anal taboo are no longer so pressing.
Those who wish to counter the complex effects of the anal taboo must focus on two central questions: What is the potential of the anal area for healthy, self-affirming sensuality and eroticism when freed from the stranglehold of taboo? And how can we go about freeing ourselves? This book is intended to help you investigate these questions and discover your own answers.
THE ANAL TABOO IN THE HELPING PROFESSIONS
EVERY CULTURE has its experts who are believed to possess special knowledge or wisdom. Traditionally, religious leaders and healers have been the most revered authorities. In our society we have increasingly turned to medical and mental health professionals. We hope that their research and experience will shed light on behaviors conducive to or incompatible with health and well-being.
Unfortunately, helping professionals are by no means immune to the power of taboos. Scientific inquiry is inherently slow, always incomplete, and subject to personal interpretation and bias. And the tendency of taboos to function outside of consciousness assures that perspectives on reality supported by the taboo will be taken for granted, not questioned. The anal taboo has had just this kind of influence on how a disturbing number of professionals look at anal sexuality.
THE ANAL TABOO IN MEDICINE
The most prestigious professional helpers in our society are physicians. The medical community has always been profoundly influenced by the anal taboo. In proctology, the branch of medicine specifically concerned with the anus and rectum, there has been an almost universal reluctance to acknowledge that these organs have potential erotic significance-especially for "normal" people.
The first proctologic study of the medical aspects of anal intercourse was published in the 1950s with the title, "Proctologic Disorders of Sex Deviates" (Feigen, 1954). Supposedly, this judgmental title was necessary for publication at that time. Even so, the article was rejected by several respected medical journals. While the article was a breakthrough for its day-at least someone was willing to raise the subject-it confirmed the prevailing belief that anal intercourse is inherently dangerous. It described in detail the medical problems of men who received anal intercourse regularly. The sample was highly unrepresentative, consisting entirely of men who sought medical help, or those incarcerated in penal institutions where anal rape is often a ritual expression of an aggressive, sometimes violent pecking order.
The situation has improved somewhat since then. One turning point came in the 1970s when increasing numbers of openly gay physicians set up practices in major urban centers. Gradually, sexual experimenters of all sexual orientations heard about doctors with whom they could talk honestly about anal pleasure and problems. Consequently, some of these physicians became experts on the subject. And a few actually shared their knowledge with professional and lay audiences.
Nowadays, physicians receive at least basic training in sexuality and have at least some awareness about anal sex. But for the most part, anal activities, especially intercourse, are still viewed as highly problematic. That so few doctors, including proctologists, have transcended the anal taboo is understandable in light of the fact that they have had to treat, usually with little or no discussion, medical problems caused by uninformed, painful, sometimes forced, and often reckless anal experimentation. It's hardly surprising that they would tend to view anal sex as unhealthy. In addition, physicians are unlikely to be aware of the experiences of those who enjoy anal stimulation comfortably and safely. Even after a lifetime of clinical practice, it is quite possible for a doctor never to meet (or know that he or she has met) such a person. Of course, acquiring a distorted view of human experience is a problem inherent in all the helping professions, and is not exclusively the result of taboo influences. After all, people rarely consult professionals to tell them how good they feel or how much fun they're having.
For these reasons, the medical community, which could be a valuable source of information, experience and expertise about the anus, has had little to say except, "Don't do it!" It's not unusual for people who enjoy anal intercourse and who seek help for anal medical problems to be told that they must give up this form of pleasure in order to have a healthy anus. I've heard dozens of reports of doctors saying, especially to gay men, "If you'd use your anus only for its intended purpose, you wouldn't be seeing me," when they know that the vast majority of their patients with identical symptoms aren't practicing anal sex. Freed from the blinders imposed by the anal taboo, physicians could better hear the concerns of their patients and offer constructive suggestions on how the anus can be experienced pleasurably and with a minimum of risk. Of equal importance, physicians could become much more effective in helping all of their patients to resolve anal medical problems. This is because the majority of common ailments-especially chronic or recurring ones-are exacerbated and perpetuated, if not caused, by negative attitudes toward the anus, lack of anal awareness, and chronic muscle tension-the exact same conditions that limit anal pleasure. Nothing can help a person develop and maintain anal health more than a comfortable, relaxed sensitivity to the anal area, including a willingness to explore it. There's no question about it: The anal taboo is dangerous to your health!
It's not my intention to indict the entire medical profession. Almost as amazing as the pervasiveness of the anal taboo is the ability of some doctors to look beyond it and listen respectfully to their patients. These are the gifted healers who continue to believe-in spite of a doctor-knows-best ethos and the limited time in today's medical system-that they have as much to learn from their patients as they have to offer. They know that the path toward optimal health is a collaborative effort. It has been my pleasure to work closely with a terrific group of doctors who encourage their patients to cultivate selfawareness and relaxation before resorting to surgery for some anal problems.*
THE ANAL TABOO IN PSYCHOLOGY
Just as the anal taboo has inhibited the medical community from offering any more than incidental information and support to those who want to explore anal pleasure, similar pressures have blocked many potential positive contributions from within the field of psychology. Freud at least discussed the erogenous qualities of the anus. In fact he saw it as the strongest focus of pleasure throughout one period of each person's life. He called this period the "anal phase" and to it he ascribed enormous power to shape our personalities. Although his ideas brought phrases such as "anal retentive" and "anal fixation" into popular parlance, the overall impact of his theories has been to legitimize anal pleasure as a developmental necessity for small children, while labeling it infantile for adults. So while Freud introduced anal eroticism into psychology, his theories ended up, ironically, bolstering the anal taboo.
Psychology has evolved in literally hundreds of directions since Freud. Most, but by no means all, of today's psychotherapists take a far less dogmatic view of sexual behavior and accept a wider range of activities as potentially healthy and mature. However, the anal taboo still thrives among therapists and researchers, in spite of a general open-mindedness. I've had countless people write or tell me about their frustration that anal sexuality seems like a forbidden subject in their psychotherapy, regardless of its duration or how helpful it is in other ways. When they've followed my suggestion to bring up the topic-or at least mention their discomfort in doing so-some have reported positive results. But in most cases, brief discussions have quickly fizzled, never to be raised again.
My hunch about the dynamics at work here is that the lingering effects of the anal taboo, in both therapist and client, join forces to create an unspoken, semi-conscious consensus to avoid anxiety and embarrassment, especially on the part of the therapist. Clients don't want their therapists to be anxious while discussing difficult material. How paradoxical, that in a setting specifically designed to promote honesty and deepening levels of self-disclosure, a deafening silence infuses the anal taboo with even more power than it may have had before. There's reason for optimism, however. In recent years I've noticed an unmistakable opening among a significant group of therapists. Nowadays, thoughtful questions about how to work with clients' anal concerns commonly arise at seminars. I'm particularly impressed when a therapist acknowledges his or her discomfort about a topic, and then forges ahead in spite of it. One of the first signs that a taboo is loosening its grip is an increasing ability to admit its existence.
SEX THERAPY AND ANAL CONCERNS
Sparked by the publication of Masters and Johnson's pioneering book on sexual problems in 1970, the field of sex therapy has grown rapidly, along with a greater awareness that sexual difficulties, far from being rare, actually affect large numbers of people. Men seeking sex therapy are usually concerned about getting or maintaining erections under various conditions, or else they are concerned that they ejaculate too fast or take too long. Women are often concerned about lack of arousal or not being able to experience orgasm. Both men and women who have little or no interest in sex are increasingly likely to consider this a problem.
For those who are willing to listen and inquire without judgment, clients will start to reveal a host of even more complex sexual conflicts and dilemmas, such as their compelling, yet problematic, attractions and erotic interests. Terms like "sex addiction" or "porn addiction" have entered the popular lexicon. While there's no doubt that many people feel a distinct and disturbing lack of choice in their sexual lives, thinking of these challenges as addictions only encourages people to fight with them, which invariably makes things worse. Theories and techniques for dealing with a vast array of sexual concerns vary widely. Yet all sex therapists view sexual behaviors, whether positive or problematic, as complex phenomena in which psychosocial learning plays a major role along with biology. Appreciating the lifelong process of sexual development opens up the possibility of further growth, and the discovery of more fulfilling avenues for expressing oneself sexually. But just how much sexual change is possible and how it can be facilitated is still, and probably always will be, a subject of intense debate.
Aspects of a person's sexuality that are established before or during adolescence, and which generate high arousal, are strongly resistant to change. More often than not, long-established turn-ons become so thoroughly interwoven into a person's entire psyche that changing them is virtually impossible. Sexual orientation is like this. Although humans are noted for sexual experimentation, trying to fight against something as deep as one's orientation is doomed to failure. Those who claim to have done so are deluding themselves.
Sex therapists are most successful at helping clients create conditions for learning new sexual behaviors, overcoming performance anxieties, improving communication, and expanding their preferences somewhat, but usually not dramatically. If new discoveries turn out to be more pleasurable and fulfilling or less anxiety-provoking, then they'll gradually supplement or supplant older behavior patterns-unless the old ones produce stronger rewards of their own, which is often the case, even with problematic behaviors. Sex therapists are least successful at helping clients get rid of behavior or alter preferences that bring them high excitement, regardless of whether the client expresses a desire to do so. In these cases, the most effective approach by far is selfacceptance, which is less about changing one's turn-ons than it is about using them in more self-affirming ways.
Today's sex therapists are initially concerned with: (1) providing accurate information and confronting destructive beliefs, (2) working with clients to design targeted experiential exercises free of pressure to perform, (3) teaching practical techniques for coping with and reducing anxiety and tension and (4) improving interpersonal skills, especially the ability to discuss sex openly and to be more assertive in asking for what one wants. Usually, the development of new behaviors-or avoidance of them-evokes emotional reactions and sometimes insights into how past experiences are still getting in the way. Further experimentation provides additional opportunities for learning, deepening self-awareness, and compassionate self-acceptance.
Sex therapists base their work on the assumption that sensual and sexual pleasure is a positive and healthful human experience as long as it is accompanied by a sensitivity to the rights of others. Sex is seen as having the potential to enhance a person's self-esteem as well as his or her relationships. Cognizant of the tremendous range and variety of sexual behavior among humans, sex therapists usually feel less compelled than traditional psychotherapists to formulate universal ideals of how people should behave. These basic shifts in attitudes are undoubtedly responsible for the successes of sex therapy, much more so than any specific technique.
Notwithstanding the overall atmosphere of openness that permeates much of sex therapy today, practitioners have not fully escaped the effects of the anal taboo, and therefore are not always as open about anal sexuality as they are about other sexual activities. Luckily, many are quite willing to discuss anal pleasure with their clients, but don't know how to help with their concerns. To this day, most therapists have few, if any, opportunities to learn about or discuss anal pleasure with their colleagues.
One reason why so few sex therapists have made any systematic attempts to apply their skills and techniques to the problems of blocked anal pleasure is the fact that such problems haven't traditionally been defined as concerns worthy of serious therapeutic intervention. In reality, for a person who desires anal pleasure, especially intercourse, the inability to relax the anal muscles is as much a problem as a man's concerns about his erections or ejaculations or a woman's concerns about her arousal or orgasms. Wanted, but inhibited, anal enjoyment can have the same negative effects on a person's selfesteem and vitality as any other sexual concern.
If we must name it, I've suggested that we call this problem anal spasm, because involuntary contractions of the anal sphincter muscles-and, to some degree, rectal muscles as well-is the primary physiological mechanism blocking anal enjoyment, especially the pleasure that can be derived from internal stimulation of the anus and rectum. Anal spasm is similar to vaginismus, which involves involuntary spasms of the muscles surrounding the outer vagina, making insertion of a penis, gynecologist's speculum, or sometimes even a finger painful, difficult, or impossible. Like anal spasm, vaginismus not only prevents insertion, but over time it also tends to reduce all pleasurable sensations and desires.
I began working clients with anal spasm in the mid-1970s. Working in collaboration with these clients, we developed an approach that seemed most helpful. Then I began testing our discoveries through formal research in which 143 people (114 men and 29 women) participated in an eightweek group therapy process developed and refined during my earlier work. Participants ranged in age from 21 to 62. Represented among the participants were men and women of all sexual orientations and a variety of backgrounds and lifestyles. All wanted to experience less pain and more pleasure from anal erotic stimulation. Eighty percent wished specifically to be able to enjoy anal intercourse. This work lead to my doctoral dissertation, and then to the first edition of this book in 1981. My work in this area has continued to expand and evolve ever since.
For the reader desiring to enhance the capacity for anal pleasure, it's important to know that this is not an impossible or even difficult goal. Among the 143 participants in the original research, 71% learned to enjoy anal stimulation in the ways they desired by the time the eight weeks of therapy had ended. An additional 12% were able to do this within four months after therapy. For the total of 83% who reached their goals, many factors contributed to their success. Most important was the willingness to devote regular time and attention to anal exploration, and to carry it out with calm persistence. Virtually anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, can become more aware of the anal area, learn to relax anal-rectal muscles and expand their capacity to enjoy whichever types of anal stimulation may be desired. Required, however, is sufficient motivation, a little patience, and a clear idea of how to proceed. It is also necessary to become aware of and to challenge the effects of anal taboo. Almost everyone with whom I have worked has found that the rewards-anal pleasure and health-are well worth the effort.
Juicy Pussy
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